Dear Son #1,
Wow, 10-years-old now. People have always told me that once you have kids time flies by so fast and before you blink they’re going off to college and all that guilt-inducing talk. And it’s true. I cannot believe it’s been 10 years. And not to be rude, but I feel like you’ve definitely aged more than me when I look back at the photos. Just saying. There’s so much that I could write in this post that my brain is over-loaded with it all – you know that feeling my fellow ADHD buddy. Today though, I’m going to look back and if you’re not tearing up by the end of this, know that I was and dude is your heart made of ice?
1st Birthday – What a joy that first year was (and a struggle) as I learned how to be a mom and you were my test subject. I quickly realized that my perfectionism had no place in my life anymore between projectile bodily fluids, endless laundry and your tendency to rearrange my kitchen cupboards at any chance you got. This was the first and last birthday that I attempted to be the Pinterest Mom that I thought I had to be. Thanks for the reality check.
2nd Birthday – When we reached your second birthday, my days of having a clean house, a rested body and hot food were long in the past. But life was never boring. By this time you were incredibly chatty and throughout the day I would get a running commentary of what we were doing. As I underwent the delights of morning sickness being pregnant with William, you were always there by my side, even being as dedicated as to walk through my vomit to get to me on that one occasion I didn’t quite make it to the bathroom in time. And you always talked me through it.
3rd Birthday – We survived the terrible twos to be hit with the terrible threes. A beautiful time of independence, stubbornness and elaborate tantrums over you wanting to put your own socks on. But oh my did your sense of humour really come out at this age. You were a big brother now so you needed to work harder for our attention, of course. You persevered, you conquered, you tried to cut your brother’s hair and instead gave him a “Harry Potter” scar that we still talk about to this day.
4th Birthday – So apparently your 4th birthday was so chaotic – after all, you became a brother AGAIN that spring, I never wrote you a birthday post. #Momfail. But I did write one a few days after about a trip to the doctor’s that resulted in a lot of grey hairs and I would imagine a glass or two of wine once it was over. Don’t worry, I’m sure you were super helpful during that time.
5th Birthday – Your 5th birthday should have been one celebrated with family and some friends too but alas it was Covid times so were all locked up together, trying to make the best of a tough situation. We learned many lessons this year such as: we will never homeschool willingly, some battles should never be started because they will never be won, and sometimes Mommy just won’t get a family photo that day—some things aren’t meant to be. Five years later and we’re still learning.
6th Birthday – A monumental birthday because we hosted our first ever kid’s birthday party. To this day I still find kid’s birthday parties a beyond stressful endeavour; just the thought of all of the noise, the sticky fingers, the Dorito dust EVERYWHERE and the fact that parents leave me to care for their own flesh and blood for minimum three hours is beyond over whelming. But over the years we have definitely gotten better at them. We’ve never lost a kid, the Dorito dust always comes out of the carpet, and we always have a really fun time.
7th Birthday – A tough year for all of us as we navigated through some emotional, mental and academic struggles. Therefore I was glad to have read this post again, yes I’m crying. You’ve come so far and even back during some of your hardest times you were still able to brighten someone else’s day and make a difference. Of all the things I’m so proud of you for, this one is at the top. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have to go to school anymore.
8th Birthday – This was the year that your incredible creativity really shone through on everything you did. I remember being so afraid that society and mean kids in the playground would extinguish the spark that you had found but to this day it definitely hasn’t. Between, drawing, art, building, crafts, creative writing, imaginary play and Lego—so much Lego; your creativity has really shaped the person you are, and I’m so excited to watch you as you journey through this exciting world.
9th Birthday – All of sudden you grew up, you had friends at school that you would rather be with, you were almost up to my chin in height and I basically had to rugby tackle you to get any type of hug. Did you not need me anymore? Well, as it turns out, after a very intense Cross Country running race, you did still need your mama. Ha ha!
Well, I don’t know about you but I need some chocolate ice cream and some Kleenex now. My word.
Buddy, this year has been a lot, but you’ve taken it all in your stride. You’ve dealt with going to a new church, multiple instances of being bullied, and then moving to a new school. These are some big things and yet you’ve kept true to yourself the whole way through.
I love you my (not-so-little) boy, my first born, my fighter, my creative-mind and am so ridiculously proud of you.
Love Mommy,
XOX
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