My dear firstborn Pieter Henry Kiezebrink II was born October 18, 2015 with what I believe to be a strong desire to take over the world one day. But for now he’s more than happy to make me laugh and cry at the ridiculous antics he performs and situations he gets himself into. Don’t get me wrong, he is no different than any other baby/toddler but whatever, I find it freaking hilarious.
Pieter’s Dating Profile ~ July 2016
Name: Little Man
Age: 9 months
Occupation: Poop Machine
Relationship Status: Single, Allowed to Date When I’m 35
Favourite Food: Everything
Favourite Place to Hang: The Beach
Favourite Things to Do: Terrorize the Dog, Break Mommy’s Stuff & Make Laundry
Favourite Music: Row, Row, Row Your Boat and The Grand Old Duke of York
Special Talents: Eating, Explosive Pooping and Eating
Now because one child just wasn’t fun enough – you know, almost boring – we popped out another! Meet my second son William Bernard Kiezebrink born on July 25, 2017 at a whopping 8lbs 11oz. He has no trouble eating and would do it all day if it were up to him, thankfully I like to pretend I make the rules around here so it’s every 3 hours instead of every 3 minutes. I have yet to see how this one is going to terrorize the household but if he learns anything from his big brother I’m going to need lots of wine.
William’s Dating Profile ~ September 2017
Name: Willy Wonka
Age: 6 weeks
Occupation: Milk man
Relationship Status: Single, but big brother’s wingman
Favourite Food: Milk, milk, okay maybe milk
Favourite Place to Hang: Off Mommy’s boob
Favourite Things to Do: Eat, fart, poop, and eat.
Favourite Music: That hideously monotonous music on the baby swing
Special Talents: Eating and getting my big brother in trouble
Hey! I have an idea honey, let’s have one more, that could be fun. Cue Alexander Stephen Kiezebrink, the poor third child. Born March 21, 2019 weighing 8lbs 12oz and thankfully a very good baby. He must have come out and instantly took pity on me.
Alexander’s Dating Profile ~ February 2020
Age: 10 months
Occupation: Shit disturber
Relationship Status: Mommy’s little baby
Favourite Food: Small inedible objects that get left on the floor from my brothers and are choking hazards.
Favourite Place to Hang: Off the side of the toilet.
Favourite Things to Do: Get into EVERYTHING I’m not supposed to.
Favourite Music: Anything from the Wiggles or Baby Bum. Yay.
Special Talents: Reaching things that I’m not supposed to and spreading them all over the floor.