I am Mommy. Hear me yell a lot.

Amy Louise Kiezebrink
Writer, Designer, Zookeeper.

It occurred to me, after reading many other websites of beautiful fellow writers, that they all have an “about page” on themselves. Ew, talk about myself? No Mom wants to do that, we’re too busy talking about our children’s report cards and bowel movements. Nevertheless, here I am, doing the very painful and vulnerable process of writing about myself when all I want to do is hide behind my kids and eat their cold, leftover chicken nuggets.  

I am Amy, AKA Mommy, AKA MOOOOMMMMYYYY!!! I live on a farm in Ontario, Canada with my husband and love of my life of almost 16 years, Pieter. I was going to say that this is an animal-free farm but we have three sons so that is most certainly not the case. Pieter is 6, William is 5, Alexander is 3 and Mommy is insane. I started this blog when Pieter was 6 months old as a creative outlet for the many quirky, frustrating and downright laughable things that were happening as I began to navigate my way through being a Mom. After William was born, I left my job as a graphic designer and started a new job. The pay was terrible, the bosses were cruel and the hours were dreadful, I became a Stay-at-Home-Mom. Our boys may look alike but subject us daily to a colorful variety of personalities and characteristics that keep us falling into bed every night both mentally and physically drained beyond belief. Needless to say, I frequently feel like I’ve lost exactly who I am. Which is the purpose of my writing and this about page.  

I am a reader, a writer, a designer, a daughter, a friend, a wife and, of course, a Mommy. I love warm weather, libraries, thrift stores, drinking wine, eating carbs, exercising (I know, weirdo), reading multiple books at the same time, Jason Momoa, writing multiple things at the same time, romantic date nights, girl’s nights, couch nights, Romcoms, and sweaty little boy snuggles.  I hate cold weather, bullies, fake people, Zinfandel, not finishing a book, Nickelback, pineapple on pizza, the fact that sugar is bad for you, horror movies, shoe stores, and how many people think being a Stay-At-Home-Mom is like a vacation.  

– Me

I recently came across one of those questionnaires—you know, the ones we used to fill out in the 90’s so your friends could really see who you are? Because everyone was totally honest in them and it was most definitely the best way to get to know someone, like ***insert high school eye roll here*** for real. 

Who is your hero? 
My mother. Piet’s mother. All mothers. We are a hard-working bunch with terrible pay. 

If you could live anywhere, where would it be? 
I’m a Canadian girl through and through so this is where I’m meant to be!  

What is your biggest fear?  
Other than horses and wind chimes? Being helpless/useless, horror movies, and haunted houses. Don’t even think of trying to jump out from behind a door or a cluster of bushes because I will literally scream and fall to the ground and it would be really funny for you.  

What is your favorite family vacation? 
I love going to the beach with the boys and one day would like to take them somewhere like Florida, we would literally need to bring an empty suitcase home just for the shells. Right now, though, we love our trailer in Haliburton and have had many happy memories made there.

What would you change about yourself if you could? 
That I feel like I need to succeed/be useful/be perfect in order to be worthy of love. 

What really makes you angry? 
Bullies (kids and adults) and people that don’t stop for school busses. They’re not a new concept, stop when you see the red flashing lights on the massive yellow bus. Yes, I am that lady that screams at the bus stop at random cars.  

What motivates you to work hard? 
Myself. I’m an excellent motivator. Look up the definition of an Enneagram 3. 

What did you want to be when you were small? 
First, I wanted to be a famous painter. Then I wanted to be a famous gymnast. Then I wanted to be a famous writer. Then I wanted to be a vet (not a famous one though).  

If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be? 
I love exploring cities—the food, scenery, museums, exhibits, shows, markets—so I would be okay to be plopped in a random city for the day with a credit card that had a relatively generous limit.  

What is your favorite game or sport to watch and play? 
Gymnastics, love to watch it but if I actually attempted it at this juncture in my life, it would not end well for me. 

Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car? 
Sort of depends on the distance but ride a bike or drive a car—you couldn’t pay me enough to do the horse route. Has no one seen Yellowstone? Seriously.  

What would you sing at Karaoke night? 
“I would do anything for love” – Meatloaf and “Sweet Child O’ Mine” – Guns ‘N Roses. 

If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? 
Subway. 

Have you ever had a nickname? What is it? 
Aimmes, Aimmesicle, Aimster, Mumsie. 

Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not? 
LOVE them. Life is lacking the good ones.   

In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read? 
Depending on my mood I would rather read or watch a movie.  

Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why? 
HAWAII!!!!!  

Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why? 
Win the lottery, then if I felt so inclined, I could make money doing what I loved.  

Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island? 
Aquaman. He’d be able to assist with the stranded part, plus um, just look at him. Sorry Piet XO. 

If money was no object, what would you do all day? 
Travel and explore the places I’ve never been. I would also buy a ridiculously large amount of new books from actual bookstores and get someone to clean my house.

If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to? 
2020 and buy more toilet paper. 

How would your friends describe you? 
Loyal, honest, loud, enthusiastic, annoying, funny, a planner, an overachiever and tragically born without a filter.

Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? 
A book. 

Where do you see yourself in five years? 
Buried under copious amounts of gross teenage boy laundry and a weekly grocery bill that is comparable to a mortgage payment. I also hope to be writing/have written a book by then. 

How many pairs of shoes do you own? 
Shoes- 3 
Boots – 2 
Birkenstocks – 958 

If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? 
The power to make my boys listen the first time I tell them something. So basically the power of making miracles happen.

What would you do if you won the lottery? 
The Carlton Dance. 

What’s your favorite zoo animal? 
A hippopotamus. 

If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be?  
Covid. 

If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be? 
My grandparents, I have so much to tell them. 

How many pillows do you sleep with? 

What’s the tallest building you’ve been to the top in? 
I have no idea, maybe the CN tower? 

Have you ever had a secret admirer? 
I don’t know. If so, it was probably a secret so I wouldn’t know. 

What is your favourite holiday? 
My birthday. It’s so awesome that it should be a holiday. 

What is the most daring thing you’ve ever done? 
Had kids. Seriously, what was I thinking? 
I’m always open to try anything. But a couple of things that come to mind is jumping 25 feet into the lake and ziplining down Niagara Falls—that wasn’t fast enough though. 

What book are you reading? 
Somebody to Love: The life, death and legacy of Freddie Mercury by Mark Langthorne and Matt Richards; Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris; and Wild Words: Rituals, Routines, and Rhythms for Braving the Writer’s Path by Nicole Gulotta. Next on the list is The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern and Fierce Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff. 

Are you a clean or messy person? 
Clean. 

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 
Well that kind of depends on what I need to do…Sometimes it’s an hour, sometimes it’s ten minutes and my personal best is 138 seconds. 

What kitchen appliance do you use daily? 
The fridge. What kind of a question is that?  

What is a pet peeve of yours? 
Stupid people. 
Stupid people that flick their cigarette butts out their car windows while running school busses. 

What’s your favourite fast food chain? 
Subway. 

Do you love or hate rollercoasters? 
Loooooooove. 

What’s your favourite family tradition? 
Christmas Eve—presents, Chinese food and a movie. 

What’s your favourite movie? 
A Fish Called Wanda.  

Have you been to a concert?  
Yes. Two. Willie Nelson and Gordon Lightfoot. 

List your top 5 musical artists. 
Meatloaf, Queen, Amanda Marshall, Spice Girls, and Ronnie Milsap. 

How old were you when you found out Santa wasn’t real? 
WHAT??!! 

What was your favourite subject in school? 
English. 

What’s the most unusual thing you’ve ever eaten? 
A dehydrated cricket. 

Do you collect anything? 
Lilliput Lane Houses, stretch marks and dirty laundry. 

Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest? 
My eyesight. 

Have you ever had a surprise party? 
Yes, a surprise baby shower. 

Are you related, or distantly related to anyone famous? 
No. 

Do you have any tattoos? If so, what and why? 
No but I am working up the gumption to get one. One day. Maybe. 

What do you do to keep fit? 
Bike, walk, swim, BeachBody, and chase after three boys. 

If you had a warning label, what would it say? 
Warning: Loud, unpredictable, and brutally honest. 

What song would you say best sums you up? A Good-Hearted Woman. 
What song would you say best sums you up? A Good-Hearted Woman. 

What celebrity would you like to meet at Starbucks for a cup of coffee? 
Jason Momoa. I’d meet that hunk of yumminess anywhere, yes, even Starbucks if I had to. 

On a scale of 1 to 10, how funny do you think you are? 
11. I’m a freaking hoot. 

What was your first job? 
I was a gymnastics coach. 

If you could join any musical group, past or present, who would you join? 
The Spice Girls. 

Who knows you the best? 
Piet. Lucky ducky. 

What is your favourite drink? 
Wine. Don’t even try to give me Zinfandel. 

What’s something new happening in your life right now? 
I just had carpal tunnel surgery on my right hand and it sucks. 

What’s your favourite number? 

What’s your favourite cake flavour? 
Chocolate. 

What was your worst subject in school? 
Math. 

Cats or dogs? 
Dogs. 

What’s your favourite colour? 
Green. 

What’s your favourite dessert? 
Anything chocolate. 

Favourite TV show? 
Outlander.

What’s your favourite flower? 
Chrysanthemum. 

What is the first thing you notice about someone of the opposite sex?
Eyes.  

Who is your celebrity crush? 
If you don’t know by now, I can’t help you.