Dear Son #1, #2, & #3,
That’s right, it’s true. The big day is almost here – CHRISTMAS! Gaaahhh let’s go crazy!! This year, however, I decided instead of presents I would write you a poem. Isn’t that special, unique and beautiful? I thought you were getting a bit tired of opening gifts every single Christmas. So, give your arms a break and enjoy!
‘Twas the night before Christmas and among the pile of toys,
Not a creature was stirring, especially our three stinky boys.
The stockings were hung oh so very high,
To keep them away from Alexander’s gleaming eye.
The exhausted Mommy and Daddy will soon fall,
Into bed to await their insane early morning call.
We tucked you all in tight while holding our noses,
The smell of sweaty Pieter and a farting William, it’s not roses.
Finally in bed, oh such joy, oh such bliss –
Then a crash and a bang – I drag myself out to see what is amiss.
I stumble in the dark and step on a Hot Wheels car,
As the moon did not light up the night very far.
I look through the window which was covered in snot,
Could I believe my eyes? No! I could not.
Santa and his reindeer flying through the night,
Landing on our roof – my what a sight!
He called his reindeer by name but how long do you want this poem?
So with a squish and a grunt, Santa squeezed into our home.
I watched as the poor man tumbled onto the floor,
Really, he should’ve just used the front door.
He pulled out a sack of such beautiful things,
But unfortunately, he couldn’t reach the stockings.
Some shuffling about with a step ladder and a stool,
The stockings were filled – boys, it was really cool.
Then he looked at the fireplace wearily rubbing his back,
So, I opened the front door and helped him carry his sack.
I’m not sure how we did it but we got him back on the roof,
And suddenly they were gone in the sky, before you could say “hoof”.
But I did hear him shout from the fast-moving sleigh,
Merry Christmas Pieter, William and Alexander – listen to your Mommy and Daddy each and every day!
See? Wasn’t that WAY better than a boring old present?
Kidding! Go look under the tree.
Merry Christmas boys!
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