No. I will not enjoy every moment with you.

Dear Son #1, #2, & #3,  

There are many things that people say to me as I stroll around with three boys under five… 

“You’ve got your hands full” – And a few more would be helpful.  

“Wow, three boys, busy mama” – Yes, I haven’t been bored or rested since 2015.

“Oooh are you going to try for a girl?” – Are you freaking kidding me? 

And my absolute favourite,  

“Enjoy every moment, it goes by so fast” – I know, and thanks for that. 

This is by far the one that bothers me the most (even though I know it is not meant to be taken this way) because there is absolutely no way on God’s given earth that I can or ever will enjoy every moment. And telling me that – especially when I’m dealing with a bodily fluid explosion, volcanic meltdown or a William injury – is just stressful and seriously mom-guilt inducing. 

I was talking about this to my therapist about this one day – oh you thought I could manage this level of sanity on my own? You’re funny. And she came up with a very interesting concept.  

Instead of trying to enjoy every moment… 

Be present in every moment.  

Not only does that immediately eliminate the guilt, the pressure, the stress and the impossibly high expectations but it actually makes parenting more enjoyable. I hate to break it to you my little love muffins but looking after you 24/7 isn’t always a picnic. Or if it is, it’s a picnic that involves a lot of poop, puke, snot, tantrums, whining and awkward questions.  

So, from now on I’m going to can the ridiculous idea of enjoying every moment and instead try to be present in every moment. Not promising anything though as sometimes I really just need to zone out and pretend I’m on a beach in Hawaii being waited on hand and foot by a dude named Jason Momoa.

I’m going to try to be present… 

While I’m being handed a giant booger or some poo you dug out of your bum. 

While listening to you scream at me that I’m a “poo-poo” and no longer your best friend. 

While catching all your puke in my hands so the floor is one less thing I have to clean. 

While I’m cleaning your poop out from underneath my fingernails, the floor, the furniture, or the bath tub. 

While I’m answering “Why Mommy?”, every second of every day about everything on the planet.  

While ignoring your whining about your sock that doesn’t fit right or that the baby hit you with a Hot Wheels car. 

While I’m being asked why I pee out of my bum or what the saggy things attached to your penises are and what’s in them. 

I’m sorry, I don’t enjoy those moments, not one bit. But I can be present in them and enjoy the other ones that aren’t as loud, smelly or require me to think up an age-appropriate answer for. Because already it’s going by way too fast, and before I know it; you’ll be taking my car, sneaking girls in the house and stealing Daddy’s beer. 

So, until then, here’s to being more present with you while you’re still pretty cute and can’t drive!  

Love Mommy,  

XOX