The lifecycle of bacon.

Dear Son #1,

So the other night I was headed to bed and went in to check on you boys before hitting the much needed hay myself. When I walked in to your room I smelt it. That distinct, distinguishable, oh so dangerous smell. Vomit. Yay.

When I signed up to be a Mom I know I signed up for nights like this, which is fine. But my word do you guys have to barf EVERYWHERE then apparently proceed to roll in it?

And after eating bacon?

Don’t get me wrong, nothing comes out looking pretty, but bacon? That’s something I don’t want to experience again.

After washing everything, including you, getting you back to bed (after some reassurance that you were done “burping”) I finally got to bed with the underlying fear that we were going to experience that together again in a few hours. Luckily we didn’t.

The next day – 327 loads of laundry later – I emptied out the dryer and bits of dried up (very clean) bacon fell out. After gagging slightly, it got me thinking about the life cycle of this particular piece of bacon.

Pig is born.

Pig dies for a noble cause.

Pig is made into bacon.

Bacon is packaged and sent to store.

Mommy buys bacon in bulk.

Bacon gets cooked.

Bacon gets eaten.

Bacon comes back up 5 hours later.

Bacon goes in toilet, garbage and washing machine.

Bacon goes in the dryer.

Bacon gets scraped out of the lint filter.

Bacon gets shaken out of cleaned sheets onto front yard.

Bacon probably gets eaten by a squirrel.

And these are the things that I think about since I became a Mom. Damn we sure know how to have a good time.

Love Mommy,

xox

 

P.S. I would just like to state that although the brand shown here is Kirkland, this post is in no way intended as a bash against the Kirkland brand of bacon. Their bacon is awesome and health nuts that we are, I need to buy my bacon in bulk.