Dear Son #1 & #2,
So there was this thing going around Facebook.
(FYI: Facebook is this thing you’ll probably not know about because let’s be honest by the time you’re allowed to have your own computer it will cease to exist and just be this archaic social media platform your parents thought was cool but really they have no idea what’s cool).
Anyways it was called “The 10-year Challenge” where people posted a picture of themselves 10 years ago and then one of themselves today. For the most part, people looked pretty good, even better and some didn’t look like they aged at all. Myself, on the other hand, eek. In my defense, I feel like I have my reasons…
10 years ago…
- I was able to take long showers on a regular basis.
- When it was time to leave the house, I just, well, left.
- I could sneeze and not pee at the same time.
- I didn’t have to mop the floor after every meal.
- I was not a horsey, jungle gym, or referee.
- When I was sick, I could just get well.
- “The Wiggles” was a dance I did after a few too many red wines.
- I drank red wine.
- I didn’t eat half chewed chicken fingers with essence of slobber.
- I had only seen Peter Pan three times in my life. Not 430.
- I got nine hours of uninterrupted sleep. Every night.
- I only wiped my own butt.
But you want to know what the worst part of it was?
10 years ago, I didn’t have you. So bring on the aging!
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