September 2016

“The Talk” September 22, 2016

Dear Son,
Now that you are almost a year old I feel it necessary for me to teach you about the ways of life – specifically the opposite sex. Us girls are a complex bunch and strategies should be put in place to win our affections. Just ask Daddy. I was watching you at playgroup the other day and I don’t feel you’re on the right track if you one day want to find a suitable mate. Just a few examples of what you should avoid…

  1. Open mouthed kissing with lots of spit – not on the first date son.
    2. Puking on her shirt – that will not get you a second date.
    3. Sitting on her head – nope, that’s just not cool.
    4. Doing all the talking – sorry you need to be the listener, that’s just the rules.
    5. Stealing her toy – uh uh, you have to do the giving son.
    6. Pulling her hair – you wouldn’t know as you don’t have any but it hurts.
    7. Poking her in the eye – that will get you a slap in the face.

I hope you are catching the gist of what I’m saying here, maybe try flowers, a nice dinner out, or a dry closed mouth kiss? Good luck in finding that one special lady my dear boy.

Love Mommy,
xox

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