Dear Son #1,
As a parent, there are some questions that I wish I never had to ask and boy did I ever have a winner today. On the bright side I think we all learned some valuable lessons – such as you visiting the bathroom before you go outside to play, me not putting a scoop of peanut butter with your apples for snacks and maybe both of us keeping a closer eye on your brother. That way we can avoid me having to ask this question ever again.
“Uh. Is that peanut butter or poo all over William?”
P.S. It was poo all over your pants and the patio but peanut butter on him. So for that I am pretty darn grateful.