Dear Son #2,
This weekend you turned four months old and you’re getting so big and growing up way too fast. I feel that one day I’m going to blink a little slower than normal and you’re going to be getting married, having kids of your own before I really have a chance to prepare you for adulthood. So, I have taken the time to compile a list of certain habits you seem to have picked up that, from my experience, you won’t get away with in the adult world.
- Pooping the bed. Or the car. Or anywhere that’s not a toilet basically.
- Burping in church. Loudly. I’m talking echoes.
- Farting in the pool. People see the bubbles.
- Waking everyone up in the middle of the night. To eat. Or poop.
- Pulling Earrings. Hair. Necklaces. Anything that’s not yours.
- Excessively drooling on people. Friends. Family. The nice ladies at church.
- Screaming bloody murder when you’re hungry. Have a Snickers.
- Peeing in the tub. Come on, your brother drinks that water.
- Sneezing in people’s faces. Only cute for so long.
- Puking in my hair. Right after I washed it. And blow-dried.
See? Adulting is not all it’s cracked up to be. So for now, you just keep being my little baby boy.