Dear Sons #1, 2 & 3,
Back in my day (you’ll be hearing this phrase ALOT now that I’m in my 40s) we had Bill Nye the Science Guy. Cue the music in anyone’s head who was born in the 80’s/early 90’s. I loved Bill, he was weird and super nerdy but had the coolest science experiments and best theme music. Sadly, all good things do come to an end and Bill Nye the Science Guy officially concluded it’s 100 episode run in 1999. For context, I was 14. Now, in my personal opinion, no one has even come close to Bill in excitement, content, and theme music. Until recently that is. Now, don’t get me wrong Bill, if you’re happening to peruse the world wide web and come across my humble blog, you will always be my favourite scientist through and through and I will always stay faithful to – Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill!
You are the best.
But as of late I have been catching bits and pieces of Mark Rober’s CrunchLabs on Netflix, and if I’m being honest, it’s pretty cool. Former NASA engineer turned YouTuber, Mark has done some pretty crazy experiments and creations making him the upmost hero in the eyes of you three boys. It is currently one of the only shows that you can all still agree on and have rewatched episodes over and over.
You’ve also been very vocal about if I can get you subscriptions to the CrunchLabs Creative Kits. I researched, for the purposes of this blog, the prices of these kits that would just be “the coolest things ever” and they total up to $643 per year. Then there’s three of you who can’t share worth a fart so that’s $1,929 per year. And I’m sorry, they still wouldn’t make you as cool as Mark Rober nor would he adopt you.
So after that no, you usually ask if you can perform your own experiments at home. Because after all, how hard or expensive can they be?
Still, the answer is NO, you may NOT…
Blow up a boat.
Put a DVD in the microwave.
Make lava.
Shoot flaming arrows.
Build an indoor roller coaster.
Create a hot tub full of bubbling sand.
Use lasers of any kind.
Mix any materials in order to create an explosion of any kind.
Create any kind of zero-gravity devices.
Drop things from very high places.
Make a thousand gallons of Jello to swim in.
Make a “glitter bomb bait package”.
Create a device to scare the wits out of candy stealers on Halloween.
Construct a backyard squirrel obstacle course (Okay, I could be swayed on this one)
So maybe I should be addressing this blog post to Mark Rober instead —because I’m sure a man with a net worth of $50 million reads random blogs written by boy moms with too many chickens.
Dear Mark,
Thank you for making these cool shows and keeping my boys endlessly entertained. Honestly the fact that they can all agree on one show is priceless. But let’s be real. Bill Nye, while he may only have a net worth of around $14 million was a little less extravagant with his experiments. While we were at home in the 90’s rubbing balloons on our heads to make our hair stand up on end; my son Alexander just asked if he could blow up a 24-storey building just like Mark Rober. And if not, could he at least fill our pool with Jello.
Sincerely,
A Mom who used to be cool but now has to say no all the time.
Alas boys, this isn’t the 90’s anymore and while it is still pretty cool to spike up your hair with balloons, it really isn’t as cool as making a building implode. I get it. Like I tell you often though, life isn’t fair. Some people, like Mark Rober’s nephews, get to jump in a hot tub full of bubbling sand and others, like you, get to make boats out of tin foil. It’s all what you make of it.
Love Mommy,
XOX
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