Dear Son,
I have a small suggestion when you are speed crawling laps around the kitchen. Maybe look up once in a while? I’m sorry I laughed hysterically when you ran into the stove, I’m sorry I then called Daddy so he could also laugh hysterically, and I’m sorry I’m posting this now so others can laugh hysterically. Here’s a wooden spoon, you show that appliance who’s boss.
Keep your chin up (literally).
Love Mommy,
xox